


Cry

by stharridan



Series: Dragons and Wine [2]
Category: Bleach
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-31
Updated: 2012-05-31
Packaged: 2017-11-06 09:44:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/417462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stharridan/pseuds/stharridan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"It's okay to cry, Matsumoto." In which Matsumoto mourns and Toshiro's the covertly caring captain.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cry

It was a full moon that night, and Toshiro didn't know how long he had been standing there gazing at such a beauty. Striking silver rays seemed to pierce into his very soul, unmasking him beneath that starry sky, as he leaned against the door to his office with his arms folded across his chest. Silence engulfed the atmosphere, and he would have appreciated it if it weren't for the soft crying that gently shattered the still of peace.

He was all too aware as to whose crying that was, but, despite his being a captain and the superior, he didn't dare intervene such a private session. If it hadn't been so quiet in the first place, he would have barged right in without so much as a knock – it was his office anyway, so why bother?

But Toshiro knew the exact reason to her being upset. It was simple, really. Following the war with Aizen and the sudden revelation regarding one Gin Ichimaru, she had fallen into a state of despair with the likes of which he had never experienced before. Often her mind would wander off to gods-knew-where, and it was only after he had nudged her out of her trance that she focused back to the task at hand.

It was difficult having such a lieutenant, but Toshiro chose to keep his mouth shut. Upsetting her further was the last thing on his list, and it wouldn't make for a very stable squad to have its two top officers fighting with each other.

But now, with the coming of her worst case scenario yet, Toshiro found himself trying to control his own raging sentiments. Half of him just wanted to drag Aizen out of jail and kill him with his own bare hands, or turn back time and try his best to stop Gin from betraying them. He had to grip his own arms tightly to stop himself from barging straight in and slapping some sense into her, but when a sob reached his ears, he couldn't hold back any longer.

Toshiro went right into the room and flicked on the light switch, and there, sitting hunched up on the couch with an empty sake bottle beside her and a box of tissues on the other, was Matsumoto. Her nose was red, her eyes swollen and puffy, and he couldn't help but stare at her in shock.

Immediately, she turned away, placing the bottle on the floor and throwing the box of tissues carelessly over the couch.

"Captain, w-where have you been?" she said, forcing a jovial tone above her sobs, having her thick orange mane hide her face away from him. "I was wondering when you'd be back, since you're not really one to stay out this late, am I right?"

Toshiro stood there, frozen to the spot, and continued to stare at her. She scooted away to sit on the farthest end of the couch, as if a seat for three people wasn't enough to fit her captain. She swiped hastily at her face, most likely her eyes, and let out a few soft sniffs.

"What's wrong, Captain?" She still wasn't looking at him, seemingly more interested in her hands twisting the skirt of her shinigami uniform. "Do you need something to drink? I can go and make some tea for you if y-"

"I could ask you the same thing, Matsumoto." His cold tone made her look up, and instantly she regretted following her reflexes. Those startling blue eyes of his transfixed her, and despite how shamed she felt at that moment, having been discovered by her captain, she just couldn't look away. It would be rude of her to do so anyway, and though rash and an avid alcoholic, she was never one for disrespect.

"N-nothing's wrong, Captain," she stuttered, words stubbornly stuck in her throat. "Why…why do you ask?" But she already knew the answer to that question. From the look in his eyes, she knew that he was aware of her personal plight. Indeed, nearly everyone in the Seireitei knew, but Toshiro was far more acquainted with the subject than anyone else. She should have known better than to doubt his knowledge, and hiding right in his office to mourn was, to her at that very moment, the most ridiculous thing she had ever done.

Toshiro stepped towards her, and she closed her eyes to avoid looking into his own, turning away to face the wall of shelves. He settled on the armrest on the other side of the couch, a ways from her, and folded his arms across his chest once more. She picked up a tissue from the coffee table and wiped her nose, avoiding his gaze yet feeling it pierce her like needles.

"It's okay to cry," he murmured, watching her out of the corner of his eye. She swallowed a huge lump that had just lodged itself in her throat and forced herself not to look at him. She wasn't sure if she was supposed to be seeking comfort from him in the first place. He was her _captain_ , not her blessed father. If he were Gin himself, she would have flung the coffee table at his face right then and there, screaming through her tears.

But this was Captain Hitsugaya, and he, throughout the many years she had served under him, was never one to be fooled around with. She knew better than to lie to him and, following that little bit of common sense, she didn't even make any effort to deny the fact that she had been too caught up with her own mourning.

So Matsumoto stayed silent, overwhelmed by the flame that burned within her. She never knew it would hurt this badly. It did pain her when she first found that Gin had betrayed her and the Seireitei, and it hurt her even more to know that he was actually doing it for the greater good – guilt overrode her in regards to her own actions of accusing him for such dirty crimes.

But losing him was the worst, and no sooner had Matsumoto thought that she felt the tears pricking the back of her eyes again. She willed herself to force them back, to constrain them, but still, stubborn as they were, they spilled over the edge and trailed down her already tear-glistened cheek.

Toshiro was there beside her before she even knew it, resting a warm, comforting hand on her shoulder that said more than anything the captain was capable of in words. He tightened his grip when she started to tremble. She hugged herself, swallowed her sobs, trying in vain to stop this weakness, but Toshiro seemed to be able to read her mind, repeating what he had said just moments before:

"It's okay to cry, Matsumoto." This time, he was more gentle, voice a little softer, though strong enough to break her completely. She buried her face in her hands, allowing a sob to leave her, letting the tears stream down her cheeks once more.

Toshiro guided her face to him, silently permitting her to bury it in his chest, and for the rest of the night, listened to her quiet weeping as the moonlight shone down upon them.


End file.
